Dodgey Seamsters

In the realm of pithy American sayings, not much rears its head above the marginally obnoxious, ‘cut to the chase’ being a stand out example. It’s probably not even that it’s American, but rather that the idiom harks to Hollywood and the life barely any of us lead, and being humans, who don’t often like things that don’t have anything to do with us, it rubs us the wrong way, as if being rubbed the right way in public was any way to conduct you affairs

But it’s on the subject of rubbing that I have to say the Americans have hit on what might be one of the most sublime idioms there is. And by sublime here you need to  picture the fat little kid with his face full of chocolate cake on a rainy winters’ day, not some crazy six-armed Indian goddess or tard infested dance-music hellhole

I really think this is one of those bottom-line issues that might just be the one thing we all have in common; the one thing to bridge our all our differences, something we could, perhaps, look to basing the UN charter on, because you know that when you do get that new piece of clothing, no matter how well-fitting it seems at some stage you are eventually going to find the tweak: that one spot where a thread or label or inner seam just doesn’t sit right. And there’s the rub.

It’s the aha moment, because you always knew there was going to be one and walking around not knowing where it is or when it was going to strike was a torture, again, of the sublime kind. This sublime being a lot less like the little fat kid and a lot more like the crazy six armed lady’s younger brother – the one with the sword.

I also have this problem with food and take it as a bad omen if I don’t get a stain on something new the first time I eat in it.


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