Irregular verbs: those few remaining doing words that have stood up to the word fascists and kept their random and bedraggled little endings intact.
These poor little buggers are hunkered down in some 18th century fort taking hits from every side by people with rulers and powerpoint presentations.
In their defence, I am going to turn the bureaucrats’ ultimate weapon back on themselves – a list!
HenceForth!@ I am going to create a list of all the verbs that have been hoodwinked, bamboozled, shamozzled and straight out bumjacked (yes, they even let you regularise verbs you make up – fuckers) into the sordid and dreary world of the bureaucrat: which is French for people with little or no imagination.
I’ll start with ‘glide’
If gliding made a sound, I’m willing to bet my shiniest five yen coin that it would go onomatopoeia on our asses.
Glide just glides. It glides so well it almost slides, but has a neat little ‘gl’ up its front stop it from doing that.
So here’s what’s essentially a perfect verb until you get to it’s past tense
What The Fuck?
Glided, for the love of all that is filled with tea! Any kind of awesomeness your glide may have had just got spear tackled by a streaking heckler.
Whichever retarded linguist/author/queen’s good man decided to whack a consonant onto the end of this thing should be taken outside and forced to learn Estonian.
Did you slided? No, you slid. & I glid.